When you look me in the eyes

Havent been feeling all the stress, but all the stress symptoms tells me that i need a break! Toilet was the only place i went to other then buming at my study table. Diarrhoea was bad, and my gastric hurts like fuck. My shoulders ache big time and im really yearning for a good massage. 1 last day to end all these torture, and i have lots of plans ahead!!

I catch a glimpse of heaven

Cant wait for exams to finish. Im so sick of studying.. Everytime i flip open my notes, i feel like vomiting all the facts and knowledge out. I have no idea what SIM is trying to do by setting the exam standard so freaking high this year. Maybe they're short of budget cuz they advertised too much so they wanna fail us and make us pay and repeat the same modules next semester? The exam is even tougher then prelim, ridiculous isnt it? It's so demoralising not able to do the paper that im most confident in. I put in so much effort and i all i can do is to stare at the alienated questions and try to pen down some rubbish while cursing at the exam setter.

Stress level: up up up up

I catch a glimpse of heaven

I'm a total bitch.

I catch a glimpse of heaven

Everything happened in a flash yesterday. Meishan was supposed to study the whole day at my place yesterday, but her cramps were so bad and she forgot to bring partial of her notes, so she decided to go home at around 3pm. So i happily met Fuad for dinner at orchard, which turned out to be a battle, yet again.
And the most classic thing like what renee said, was in the midst of our battle, we bumped into R face to face. He's the last person I would want to run into when im with F can?! I was totally stunned and didnt know what to say. 'Hi, book out so early this week?' was what i managed to squeeze out in that embarrassing second. R was apparently checking F out cuz he knew what happened between us. I stood there hoping R wouldnt say much. This wHoLE thing is SOOOO wrong.
Anyway, things got better between Fuad and Me cuz we talked it out, really talked. We were planning to head home when Renee called and asked to go Night Safari with her to visit her colleague. Why not, since i've never been there my entire life. So she picked fuad and me from PS, and Ruiyi from work in a cab and we happily went to Night Safari for the 1st time in my life! So this huge hilarious random conversation broke out in the cab with the cab driver. The more excited the cab driver was talking, the louder he got and the harder he stepped on the accelerator. I swear he was driving at 120km/hr at the expressway and the way he steered his steering wheel, we could had lost our lives. Phewwww... The two men were talking about power rangers, wife, government etc etc etc in hokkien, malay, english, chinese and guess what, they could understand each other man, even i could barely catch up with what the uncle was saying. We lost track of what they were saying cuz we started cam whoring. This whole night is so impromtu. I was supposed to be at home studying!

I catch a glimpse of heaven

At this very moment of my life, everything really suck. We've been quarelling almost every other day. And today is the worst, and it's a day before my exams. You never fail to surprise me with new things that you do, and all these things are ugly. Just in two months, you're evolving into someone that i barely know and used to love. I'm not fucking catching up with the pace that you're changing. Everyone has their limits, you're doing things that you know that i can't accept, and you just have to fucking do it to hurt me. Well done.

Everytime we argue, some of of you in me is slipping away. But i dont know why, i just cant bare to let you go. Humans are such a contridictive animal.

I catch a glimpse of heaven

I clocked in 12 hours of study today, all the way from 12 pm until now excluding dinner. 1 last day to my first paper. I was like doing all the past year exam papers and i can hardly do the questions without looking at the answers. So much for clocking 30 studying hours a week, and i still doubt that i can score well. Counting down to the end of exams and to the weekends.

Proven scientifically:
After being dumped, body releases a chemical that makes you feel more passionate to that person. You will feel that you love that person more then even when you were in that relationship. Thats why you will feel terrible after break ups.

I catch a glimpse of heaven

Happy Mother's Day!!!! And my mammy's birthday is only 2 days away. Gave my mammy a surprise by bringing her for facial in the morning. Hope she enjoyed and relaxed herself. And that also means that my bank is drying up really fast. I got her a bottle of perfume and treated her for facial for mammy's day cum birthday present, and all these costed me a bomb. And my sister is not around to share the cost. I'm squeezing dry my bank.

I catch a glimpse of heaven

Well spent weekend for me, hopefully for my mammy as well cuz itz mother's day. This year is the 100th mother's day, and i just want her to feel appreciated for all the things she'd done for me. Though she's not the one who i confide my problems to or run to when i'm in trouble, but I know that if i wanted to, she'll be there. So i decided to have lunch with her on friday at Kushin Bo at The Central and gave my mum a surprise at Raffles Place. Cuz i knew that 98.7 DJs will be giving out carnations at 5pm, so i brought my mummy there.We waited till 6pm before they appeared, and all the people that went were sec school kids hoping to take a photos with the DJs. Apparently, my mummy was one of the very few mums who went so we got the advantage of cutting queue. Though the wait was long, but it was worth it cuz i could see that mummy was happy though it wasnt something expensive or what, but at least she knew that i cared.

I had to rush home and wash up cuz i was going to watch Nim's Island at 9pm. The movie was quite alright, funny parts here and there, Abigail Breslin acted very well for this character, she looked intelligent and i guess that shes one of those who'll have her sexy attitude when she grows up. Gerald Butler is super handsome and blah blah blah.. I enjoyed the movie. Went acid bar and alley bar after the movie, the live band at acid bar was quite good thought the guitarist was so so. The female lead singer sang quite well and the song picks were good. Was super tired that night and had to wake up early in the morning for basketball.

Didn't feel too well that day, and basketball was tiring. Played 7 sets. The averagely 1.7s vesus the 1.8s. Apparently i fall under the 1.7 catergory even though i was only 1.6. Put in extra effort that day, and we won the first 2 sets, lost the next 2, won the 5th, lost the 6th and the final match by only 1 point. I was K.O after that. But it was a good game though, everyone tried put in effort and tried. This guy tried to argue rules with me. Yes ME! It's alright if what he said was questionable, but hell no! It was totally dumb and unintelligent. He said that if the ball is rolling on the floor, then we cannot pick it up with 2 hands. I'm like HUHHHH?? What are you trying to say? I told him that we can, but he didn't wanna listen, so alright, forget it, didn't want to argue. Guys and their EGO, never wanting to admit that they're wrong.

I rushed home after lunch to bathe because i promised fuad that i'll accompany him to his friend's birthday party. I rushed all the way to Cityhall and then his friends flyed our aeroplane and said that they're not going anymore. I was super duper pissed off. I fell asleep the moment i hit my pillow. ZzzZZz..

Went to a chinese physician to have my back treated. It was a long and painful hour at the parlour. Oh gosh, imagine how much force did the physician applied that my neck and back is STILL soar from the massage.

I catch a glimpse of heaven

Love~
Jealousy~
Stress~
Disappointment~
Arguement~
Apologies~
Love~

It goes Round and Round...

I catch a glimpse of heaven

Shall post more photos when ruiyi n renne send me pictures.

I'm just back from Marrakesh, where grace me jas renee and ruiyi chilled. We had dinner earlier at Waraku and the food was good. I had a great time embarrasing myself, sticking my fake eyelashes that i decided to pluck out onto the transparent menu, and then sticking it below my nose and act as if i have moustach or something. Okie, it was unglam, but hack, i just wanna leave everything aside and have fun today.

And I WAS BULLIED by our dear Jasmine!!!! She bit me, pretty hard i think, considering my pain torlerance level is low. I know thats not the worse she can do, she got lots of potential of doing even more horrible stuff. Right Jas?? HAha! She tried unhooking my bra and she kicked my slippers and hid it at the corner etc etc etc.... And btw, the teeth mark is still on my shoulder and it's swollen!! I know you're sweet, you wanna make me remember you, but there are many ways to do that, next time try a approach that doesn't involve pain can?? Haha.. But i really had a great time today. I love all of you!!

I still dont feel like sleeping yet cuz a lot of stuff is going thru my mind. It's still too early to say that 2008 hasnt been a fantastic year for me cuz we're not even halfway through it yet. But I feel that i've changed a lot since the start of the year, my attitude sucked, I picked up bad habits, I did stuff that i never even thought of doing. And i realise that it doesn't matter as much how people look at me. I dont care if i embarrased myself in the public as long as it doesn't affect anyone, espacially when i'm with my friends. I just wanna have fun.

I'm screwing my life and my relationship up, with my very own hands. I know it's a dead end, yet I still wanna step my foot in and take a look. How silly can i be? I know i will be the one who gets hurt in the end, I'm aware of it and i'm not making a u-turn.
All I wanna do is to feel alive.

I feel like crying.
I have no idea what i want right now.

I catch a glimpse of heaven

I met Renee on the bus just now on the way home. Oh gosh, i miss her so much... So nice to see her again. I was just thinking about her the other day, thought of meeting up and everything. She had to alight while we were gossiping and updating halfway, so maybe we'll continue tmr..

I catch a glimpse of heaven

OMG!! I feel fat.. ok.. I AM fat.. But i feel fatter on top of i AM fat.. I ate like a tub of Ben and Jerrys in 2 days.. PMS makes my appetite GROW!!! I wanna swim, jog, play basketball, roller blade and i have no time for all these.. ARGH!!

I catch a glimpse of heaven

Today is Labour Day.....~ So what? Does more people give birth on this day? This is just a lame joke I heard from the FM while i was mugging the at home the whole day cuz exams is just mere 14 days away, and i'm not really prepared for it. Everytime i stick my head into the books and notes , my mind drifts away. I can't focus... I'm so dead. I need my 2nd class, be it lower or upper.

I'm looking forward to meet the girls this weekend for a drink. We're still going, are we??

I catch a glimpse of heaven