Quite a long time since i've updated.. Not that i've got nothing to say, rather, there's too much for me to express everything... I only know that i've been eating a lot, far too much... hehe.. feels fat!!
Last week was quite a disaster actually.. Quarells, jealousy, arguements... but things got much better this 2 days. I'm really not sure whether i made the right choice of telling him all that, neither do i know that i'm making things worse, but so far so good... and i feel much better blurting out everything.. Thanks for all the advices and opinions that made me have the courage to talk to him. Being in this relationship made me learnt a lot more about myself. There are things that i didn't expect myself will do and think, plus i didn't know that i will react in such a way when certain things happen. I just hope that things will better better slowly..
I catch a glimpse of heaven
A long awaited day... And i found out that this day has nothing worth waiting for at all! In my 19 years of live, this is the WORST birthday i've ever had... Really a bloody bad day.. Few days ago you told me not to go out with my friends cuz you purposely come back to celebrate it with me. then what? you spend the whole afternoon sleeping at home. So i spend the whole afternoon at home!! Where got people spend their birthday whole day at home one?? Not even a word of happy birthday or any prezzie... Still have the cheek to tell me that you love staying at home. So i wasted my 19th birthday rotting at home! Really the most unforgettable birthday i've ever had!! I hate this day!
Life's been really bad. I can't move on....
I catch a glimpse of heaven
Went for SIM's bball training yesterday.. Wouldn't say that it's fun, coz most of them can't play, they don't even have the basics, so we have to do the really basic stuff like passing the ball and stuff.. But luckily huili and leanne was there.. I think other then the 3 of us, almost all of them are indonesians, but so far, they seem nice people.
I successfully fasted for 2 days!! The 1st days was like, after fasting, i ate subway, sounds healthy right, i thought so too, but after that i ate 2 subway cookies. Then me and siewfong went to tcc and i drink this chocolate coffee thing. Wah...so sinful... What's worst?? I prolly ate ice cream when i'm at home!! argh!! Fattening!! I told huili that yesterday ans she was super diao-ed can.. hehe
See how long can i tahan this fasting thing... hee...
Wheeeeee.....off i go...
I catch a glimpse of heaven
It's been 4 whole months. Ups and downs. Putting in so much. In fact too much. All i can do is to wait. Disappointment after disappointment. Disappearence after disappearence. I can do anything for this to go on. Tired. I Love You.
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded
By the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me?
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading awayI'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me?
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound
But no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto
A time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
I've awoke to realise that a lot of things has happened to me. I run away from them, pretending that i'm strong, pretending that it all didn't matter. No one's there to hear the pain inside me. Everything, everyone is a facade. They don't really care. Moving on with their lives, with mine stagnent.
Passing each day by each day...
I catch a glimpse of heaven
I MISS MY MUM!!! BIG TIME!!
I'm alone... all alone... and I hate it..
I catch a glimpse of heaven